My Utility Belt

I got a new device yesterday that is called a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM). Basically I have a sensor in my that checks my blood sugar every 5 minutes and then sends this information to a receiver (picture above). It is designed to help to prevent lows and highs in blood sugar (which would be great for me and Baby). Since I've had it for less than 24 hours, I'm still working out some kinks.

Now, I still check my blood sugars the normal way with finger pricks, the CGM just helps me to see 'trends', like if my blood sugar has been progressively going up/down or staying steady. Knowing the trends helps me to know how best to react to what my finger pricks tell me. Brad loves the CGM cause it has alarms that go off if my blood sugar is decreasing too fast or my blood sugar has gotten low. This helps him sleep at night. It also has alarms for if I'm getting too high. Basically I get graphs of blood sugars that look like a roller coaster ride.

I just got it yesterday and the nurse who trained me is also diabetic. He told me that it took him 3 months to fully get adjusted to the CGM and be able to effectively use it to help keep his blood sugars great (I like perfect but my diabetic nurse practioner tells me not to use perfect because that is impossible). So, my trainer told me to be patient.

Needless to say, patience went out the window fast last night when the CGM said my blood sugar was in the 300s (its supposed to ideally stay between 80-120). My finger pricks said I was about 240 (still very high). But it was frustrating me. So, I have to work on my patience. What else is new.

Brad calls it my utility belt because I have to keep the monitor within 5 feet of the sensor (which is in my hip right now). Ben, who trained me, wears the monitor on his belt with a clip device. I already have my insulin pump in a pocket, and this CGM is a little bigger. So I would look like Batman if I had my pump clipped on one side and the CGM on the other. Sweet! Good thing I have pockets to try and hide all these devices cause I don't really want to be Batman right now.

So I'm working on patience and hoping that I can get my blood sugars at good levels so I'm healthy and Baby grows/develops good and healthy.

Please note: this picture is not of me, it's a model. But that's the size of this stuff. Sensor/transmittor in her stomach, and the black thing on the pants is the receiver/monitor.

Stress, it's a killer!

In case you are wondering, that is a quote from one of my favorite animated movies, Anastasia. Love it! But it's so true! Well it is March Madness and I never did a bracket :( Oh well, I can enjoy all the upsets. Brad on the other hand can't, especially after Missouri lost (he had them going all the way). Can't blame him though, they did have a great season and were an easy final four pick at least. I cheered for Duke to lose (yay!), cheered on my Tar Heels, and keep hoping that Kansas loses (go NC State!). We love college basketball!

Last weekend was our big stressful adventure. So, our whole marriage it seems that life has gone by the "when it rains it pours" law. Cause when one bad thing happens, something else always does (so it seems). The stress of a diabetic/pregnant wife, medical bills, cars, etc. has been adding on a bit. Well, last weekend I had taken my civic to get the oil changed and tires rotated. When I got back home, Brad and I decided to go to Walmart to get a few things we needed. I got a new phone so Brad played around with my phone while I drove. Everything was going fine, that is until I start to accelerate to merge onto the freeway. The care would not stop accelerating! So what do I do? I started to panic.

Thank goodness Brad was there sitting next to me. I was freaking out telling him that the car would not slow down and kept trying to speed up. I guess the main point i got across to him was that the brake was not slowing us down. So Brad told me to calm down and pump the brakes. I'm doing this, the car is no longer accelerating, but the slowing down is not really happening. Brad luckily does not forget that we have an e-brake (which I of course did) so he pulled it to help slow us down to 60mph. He then told me to merge off the freeway. I did this and he popped the car into neutral and turned off the engine. I kept pumping the brakes the whole time, as I was instructed to do, and we coasted to a stop.

Luckily, we had only gone maybe a mile on the freeway during this whole time, so we were still at an area where there is lots of shoulder and grass on the side of the freeway. Brad ended up having to push us over a little farther from the road (cause cars were whizzing by super fast), then he got in the drivers seat and I moved to the passenger. Brad tried to turn the car on and automatically it sounded like a nascar cause the engine just went crazy (and Brad was not touching any pedals). No bueno.

He got out, popped the hood and didn't see anything. So Brad called his parents to see if they could come help. Then he called his buddy, Doug, who happens to know cars pretty well. Doug suggested checking the gas pedal. Brad did notice that the floor mat was pushed up under the pedal a little. He pulled this back and then turned the car on again. The engine still sounded like we were flooring the gas pedal. So Doug suggests checking the throttle line thing. Granted it was 7ish at night, so Brad is doing all of this by the light of his little maglight that he keeps in my civic. He checks the cord, pulls on it a bit, sees it doesn't seem to be caught. So he turns the engine on again. It actually sounds normal now. By now Brad's parents had pulled up behind us in their durango and a cop showed up as well to make sure everything was okay. I stayed in the car while Brad talked to everyone, mostly because I was still having a hard time dealing with it all. My body was shaking all over.

The cop told Brad that he was smart to put the car in neutral and turn off the engine because earlier that week, someone had crashed from a similar problem and did not think to do this. Thank you smart husband (or I guess I should thank his mission because they would try to save gas miles by speeding up really fast and then putting the car in neutral and turning off the engine). So Brad has me get in the durango with his parents to ride home with them while he would drive the civic. He goes to turn the car on, and the engine won't turn. Great, we need a new battery. Brad's dad brought a bunch of stuff just in case he would have to pull our car home. So he gets in front of the civic, rigs it up to the durango, and off we slowly go. The battery in the civic officially died about 5 minutes into the trek home, so Brad had to steer with no power steering. Luckily, we only had one rough turn, and the rest of the way was pretty smooth going.

When we got back home, Brad's mom called the neighbors over, who happen to own a diagnostic tester thing. We jumped the battery in my civic so there was some juice, then they plugged in the diagnostic thing. It did not get any error messages from the car's computer. So the men decided that the floor mat pushed on the throttle cord, causing it to jam, and our battery died in the whole crazy process. Brad says the battery needed to be replaced soon anyways. The next day, Brad bought a new battery and the car was working again. I still had him drive my car to work on Monday, while I drove his. Granted, his is a manual and it had snowed so of course the road to my work was slushy and I got stuck at a light on an incline. But I made it to work, Brad said my car worked just fine.

Moral of the story, check the floor mat (which Brad jimmy-rigged to the floor somehow so it should have a harder time moving), and pop the car in neutral and turn of the ignition if your car is not stopping. Brad would also say to not freak out.

Not an ideal situation for a pregnant lady. But we survived, the car is running fine, I just accelerate slow. Baby is still okay (I think/hope) and is apparently roughly the size of a baked potato, about as long as my hand, and weighs 5 oz.

What Energy?

Well, I have to say, pregnancy is not quite what I expected or have been told. For instance, I have learned to hate the term "morning sickness". Such a lie cause it is not just in the morning that you feel like crap. Lucky enough for me, I only had nausea bad for a week (bad as in seeing a hamburger on tv almost made me want to run to the bathroom, peanut butter made my stomach really revolt, and chocolate was no bueno).

Next, everyone says that the second trimester you are supposed to have all this energy so I have been told to get as much done now as I can before I'm huge. Guess what, I am still tired all the time and lazy. I look at my bathroom and know it needs to be cleaned, but I struggle to find it in me the desire or energy to do it. Vacuuming sounds like a huge chore. I think I could sleep all day and still be tired.

This lack of energy and motivation is not helping me exercise either. I did yoga for 2 weeks. Ha ha, now I just can't do it. I feel so lazy, so much so that my OCD is annoyed but not enough to do anything.

I was reading stuff online yesterday and found out that the baby is about the size of an apple now. I'm still not really showing, but i'm only 15 weeks along and my insulin inner tube is covering any possible pregnancy bump. But, at least my clothes all still fit. Now that chocolate is appetizing again, I have a hard time avoiding it. One of these websites I looked at started lecturing about how I should be exercising an hour a day, eating lots of veggies, and staying FAR away from awful junk food. I can't say I want to go back to that website.

Right now I'm just counting down the days until April 2nd when we will find out what we are having. It's killing me this not knowing. Brad seems perfectly fine waiting.

We did get a baby name book, and so far we have had fun finding the most ridiculous names (which there are quite a few). For those who do not already own a baby name book, I would recommend finding one that only has american names, cause otherwise it is find to something normal. Granted there are great gems of names, like phashestha which is surprisingly american. Brad is ready to use hawaiian names for middle names, they are sound much better than all the hebrew, chinese, greek, latvian, etc. names.

Prego!

Well my friends, I have finally decided that it's time to let you all know our good news. I am pregnant! My official due date is August 27th, but since I am diabetic the doctors (yes I see a multitude of doctors) told me that I will most likely deliver between 36-39 weeks.

Why? Cause I am high-risk for everything! High-risk for neural tube defects, heart defects, and under developed lungs (those are the biggest issues). Then there is the high risk for miscarriage, but I am 14 weeks, almost 15, so I'm mostly past that stage. But I am still high risk for stillbirth. Fun!

Being pregnant has made managing my blood sugar a serious issue. All these hormones are making my numbers jump up and down, which is not good for me or for a developing baby. So, I meet with my family doctor every 4 weeks, maternal and fetal medicine every 6 weeks (for now), and Diabetes Management every 3 weeks. I send my blood sugar numbers to 2 different CDEs (certified diabetic educators). And every visit goes over how my blood sugars have been.

So there is the scary facts and reasons why I have waited so long to tell everyone.

The good news, so far everything is fine (as far as doctors can tell). I have had 2 ultra sounds. Baby's heart beat is great, baby has a stomach, brain, heart, 2 arms, and 2 legs.

My first ultrasound was at week 11. Brad and I went to my PCP for the sonograph to hear the baby's heart beat. After spending a while talking about diabetes and pregnancy complications, the doc tried to find the heart beat and couldn't. So she pulled out her ultrasound machine. After a few minutes of searching she still couldn't find a baby and thought that my uterus looked too small. Then she starts talking about a possible missed-miscarriage. To say the least, Brad and I were concerned. So we get sent down to radiology for a legit ultrasound. They were trying to fit us in so we were sitting there waiting, while all the new about Josh Powell blowing his house up was playing on the tv. Very comforting.

Then we finally got called back. The ultrasound tech gets me lubbed up and after 30 seconds she says "Ok, I can put it on the big screen cause it's good news" and there was baby. No idea why my doc couldn't find the baby, but I was measuring perfect and baby was moving.

Then at 13 weeks Maternal Fetal did another ultrasound. That was fun. I got to watch baby hiccup. At 19 weeks I see Maternal Fetal Medicine again and we will (hopefully) find out the gender and see baby's organs better.

So, all in all, Brad and I are very excited (even if this was not really planned). Our families are pretty excited too. I might one day post a bump picture, but Brad insists that I don't have one. I'm just happy that I can eat and like chocolate again!

No Better Way to Spend My Day

Yesterday I had a day of fun planned for my day off. What did I do? I went and spent 2 hours at the dentist getting 4 cavities taken care of. Then, after 3/4 of my mouth was numb, I went and attempted to eat soup for lunch. Lets just say that I felt like a little kid. Then I went and met with a NP at the Diabetes Management clinic to talk about my blood sugar. Finally I picked up hot wings for Brad and drove home. My dentist told me that he was so glad that I would spend my day off with them. Going to the dentist afterall is my favorite activity! (that is dripping in sarcasm).

Well, my mouth was sore after the numbness wore off. And I have a cold. So after eating chili for dinner I got ready for bed. I am an avid flosser. While flossing, I managed to pop off half of my brand new temporary crown. Crap! I quickly pushed it back down and held it there for a while hoping the adhesive would work again. Then, I was plucking my eyebrows (I'm totally addicted to it, like part of my OCD). Well, my hand managed to slip and I jabbed my eye with the tweezers. Luckily that eye had closed in time so it jabbed my eyelid, but my eye still hurt. All in all, a fun day or doctors appointments and beating myself up. Hence why I stayed home today and did very safe activities.

Goodbye Chuck

For those of you who don't know, my favorite show is/was Chuck. And sadly Chuck just ended a few weeks ago. I'm not to happy with NBC for putting an end to this amazing show. If you have never seen Chuck, well that is sad and you totally should. It's funny, has action, romance, and geek. Basically it's about an extremely likable guy named Chuck who I think a lot of people can relate to in some way.

Unfortunately, this last season they moved the episodes to Friday nights. Even more of a lame way to kill off a show. Some Fridays I was home to watch Chuck, other Fridays I had to depend on family to record it. So when Brad and I went to do something with friends the night of the series finale, we came home to find that my worst nightmare (okay, not quite) came true. Chuck was not recorded! I was pretty distraught, especially since NBC also stopped putting the episodes online this season (I seriously hate you NBC).

Well after several days of furiously searching for some way to see how it all ended, and then giving up that I would have to wait until the season came out on DVD, which made me not very happy at all...Brad came to my rescue. With his magic computer tricks, he was able to get the last 2 episodes for me on the computer. It was fantastic! The only thing that would have been more fantastic is if it had ended with a bit more happy closure for me. Sure, they brought back lots of stuff from the first episode/seasons and it kind of came full circle. But come on, we all just want everything to be perfect and happy! Lame. But it did make me cry. In fact, the second to last episode I was a mess. You would have to watch the show to understand. Brad did not watch the episodes with me, he just saw me falling apart and rolled his eyes. It was emotional.

I have since been watching chuck seasons over again. It is methodic to watch it from the beginning cause then I don't feel like it's over. Sad day. I love Chuck. Funny guy and awesome shoes! Moral of the story, don't be gone when your show is on tv and watch Chuck! If you don't have it, I will let you borrow it. It's addicting. I know that I can relate to Chuck cause a lot of times I feel like I'm just like he was in the first episode - not living up to his dreams and working a crappy job. So this is my ode to Chuck. I will never forget you (because I own all the seasons).

A Caribbean Christmas

Well, as noted previously, we had a weird Christmas. Poor Brad has no idea what a normal Cramer Christmas is like, cause we have not had one since we have been married. The first christmas spent with my family, my aunt had recently had a baby so the whole family took a red-eye flight to CT on Christmas. Needless to say, that Christmas was a little rushed and then we were in Connecticut and NYC.

Then, last year, we were all down in So Cal at my grandparents for Christmas. So a very full house. And why did we go to So Cal? Because grandma ordered a real tree...which looked like a bush.

Finally, this year my grandparents paid to take the whole family on a cruise, for Christmas of course. I've always wanted to go the caribbean. It was pretty, and warm, and humid. I can't say it was my favorite Christmas though because it didn't feel like christmas.

Everyone mailed presents to each other, so we didn't have to take them with us. So Brad and I opened all our presents before christmas. Then we flew to Florida on the 22-23rd of December. Spent a day in Ft. Lauderdale. On Christmas Eve we boarded the boat, ate, wandered the boat, and finally left the dock at 6pm.

Christmas day, we rescued Cubans. How do I know they were Cubans? Well, we were a lot closer to Cuba then to America, and who else crams 12 people onto a little dingy, that is taking on water, and floating in the middle of the ocean? Oh yeah, Cubans! Needless to say, it is international law that boats must rescue stranded people. So we got to wait for hours for the US Coast Guard to come and pick up these Cubans, as we could not go to Grand Cayman with them.

My family panicked that we would miss our excursion as we would get to Grand Cayman 4 hours later than we originally were supposed to. We went to a Christmas on Ice show (yes, there was an ice skating rink on the boat). Other than that, we all sat on a deck (some laid out in the sun and got fried, the rest of us hid in the shade) and read books. Christmas dinner, all 18 of us sat at two different tables right next to each other (cause there is no table big enough for 18 people) . My mom did make stocking things for each room, so we did find gifts/candy in these stockings each day.

Monday, we were in Grand Cayman. We went to string ray city, and I now find sting rays to be freaky animals. We also went snorkeling by the reef, which was cool.

Tuesday, we were in Jamaica. We went ziplining in the rain. Then we hiked Dunns Falls. I liked zip linning, I hated climbing the water fall. A) It was boxing day, which is a big holiday to anyone related to England, so it was crazy b) I don't like big crowds, especially when you are trying to fight through all these people to climb up a water fall and not lose your group, fall in the water, or slip and C) I was wearing my pump (cause i didn't trust leaving it) and I have had a pump break in the water before. But Jamaica was pretty, while also a little scary. We did see a sign for city saying the cops were not allowed.

Wednesday we were in Labadee, Haiti, which is Royal Caribbean's private area. It was nice, we snorkeled, went on the alpine coaster, and introduced my family to the joys of street vendors.

Thursday we sailed back to America. Friday we got off the boat and flew back. I was really ready to come home. The caribbean is nice, but I just want to be home for christmas. Have a normal christmas at home with family, and hopefully enjoy a holiday without someone in the family yelling/lecturing, etc. So we had fun, but I can't say I ever want to do it again.

Granted, at this point in time I never want to fly again. One day, Brad will have a christmas with my family where we are at my parents home, can walk the street and see all the lights, and relax. One day, maybe in 20 years.