Anxiety, Moving and Moana

Can I just say that life has been crazy?  Starting this year, I had thought I was going to get so much done before I went back to work, before Brad started working, before we moved....Here it is down to 8 days until we move and I am just now setting up my eye exam, never made it to the dentist, and am hopefully going to be going to the temple tomorrow if Tacy is feeling better.

So what has happened you ask, well, LIFE.  The main things were of course taking care of two kids, Brad taking and passing the PANCE, leaving the kids for a week so Brad and I could go on a cruise to celebrate finishing grad school and my BSN, house hunting, Brad starting work, and packing.  

Brad and I did love our cruise, we happened to go in the wake of the big storm that hit the east coast, so the ocean in the Caribbean was choppy most of the cruise.  Needless to say we did not snorkel in St. Thomas and I froze trying to do as many water slides as I could handle while freezing at Atlantis. St. Thomas and St. Marten are beautiful, but the Bahamas were not my favorite (I've head Nassau is much better on a nice day, not such a cold, overcast, windy day).    

Brad had a very frustrating time waiting for all of his licensing to be processed so he could start working, NC's med board was moving very slow.  We went and looked at 13 houses in 5 hours one day, with both kids in tow, and really impressed our realtor, Ashley.  What can we say, we know what we like.  We signed for a house a few days later and will be closing in less than a week.  

While I started going to back to work with no issues, other than feeling more sleep deprived than normal since I have a baby, the real craziness began when Brad started working.  For the past 3 weeks Brad has been living with friends and working Monday-Friday, then coming home Friday night - Sunday night.  I have been working mostly weekends so I only have to get help with the kids a few nights these past weeks.  Other than a few hours between working and sleeping on weekends, Brad and I don't see each other, which has been hard.  We talk on the phone every day, we discuss the woes of working, how everything with the house is going, whether Tacy is behaving well enough to see Lego Batman, and what to pack next.  I pack during the week and Brad packs when he is home.  

Now that we are down to one week to go, I'm really feeling my anxiety level kicking up.  I feel like there is so much still to do, so much to clean, and so much that I cannot do until the last day.  That's when I realized that my work schedule was not going to work, because I had agreed to work Tuesday and Wednesday night, with us moving Friday.  Haha, sometimes I don't think things through.

So I have dropped a shift, relied heavily on friends to help me get sleep when I can, and just trying to keep calm because I can only do so much.  I hate that most everything has to be saved until the last minute.  While I am a procrastinator at heart, I've learned how bad procrastination is for my anxiety, so now I try to get everything done early.  Having to wait to pack the kitchen, the bathroom, etc. until right before we move is killing me.  Just like having to wait to clean until right before we leave is killing me.  I keep thinking about what I could clean now that would actually stay clean...and so far I have only come up with blinds maybe.  So frustrating.  Needless to say I have been eating a lot of Reese's eggs, the white chocolate ones, because they help my anxiety and nerves haha.  

Making her valentine's box with tape and paper because all other craft stuff was packed

I'm really hoping I get help from ladies at church to help clean my apartment so it doesn't take so long.  Brad is going to be with the movers moving everything to the new house, while I will be cleaning like crazy with two kids.  I will get through it all, and probably eat a Cook Out Shake when it is all said and done.  In the mean time, I pack a little, sometimes a lot when the packing bug really bites me, and Tacy and I have been watching and singing to Moana a lot.  We love this movie, which is why I went to Walmart early Tuesday morning to buy it.  I just prefer to sleep through the crab part/song, but we love everything else.  Tacy is learning that movies are not real, just stories.  Brad apparently has been teaching her this, so Tacy loves to tell me.  Better she learn now so she doesn't fear seeing Ta'ka (a lava monster) when we go to the beach. 

Life as a Neat Freak

Having guests over has carded me to realize how much of a neat freak I can be. I've always known that I have some OCD tendencies like how I can't stand an unfolded blanket that isn't being used. However after having so many people over since Nate has been born, I realized I really hate messes.

I realize that life is messy, nothing is ever picture perfect or goes perfectly. But one thing I can control is how clean my house is. Yes I have children who constantly make messes, but Tacy is pretty good at cleaning up downstairs at least and I can choose her bedroom door. Haha I do find that I get tired of waiting for her or Brad to pick something up and well just do it for them. It's bad, I just have no patience sometimes. And when I'm mad or frustrated, cleaning helps, so I'll clean the bathrooms, scrub the kitchen, sweep, clean baseboards....and Brad tells Tacy to just stay out if my way.

The other day I was looking for something and ended up cleaning out/organizing 4 bins and my bedside table. It felt good to get rid of junk and feel more organized.

My inner neat freak was so bad this Christmas that the tree was out tree door two days after Christmas (I usually insist on keeping it up until January). With the new track for Mate's hot wheels taking up half our living room, I was tired of stumbling over it in the nudge if the night. Since the hot wheels helps to put Nate to sleep when we are desperate, the track stays and the tree was out. Haha that is a testament to our desperation!

Now my room is not perfect by anymeans, but I'm hopeful that when we move we don't have to have so much stuff packed into our room. Also don't check my tub or fridge because I've always hated to clean tubs and fridges! Haha I'm just trying to accept my neat freak self and keep a level head with all the craziness of living in a home with more people then myself. That's why on instagram I'm always posting my kids, we aren't perfect and I don't attempt to stage anything. I just have my crazy family who I always love (although we don't always like each other) and want to remember the craziness.