Birthdays and Anniversarys

So today is my 13 year anniversary of being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  Diabetes is not easy to live with, especially while pregnant.  However, time and my faith have helped me to see the many blessings in my life and good that has come from this disease.  I live in a time full of technology which means that companies are always coming out with better tech to manage/treat diabetes.  Within 10 months of my diagnosis I was able to get an insulin pump which is so much better to manage diabetes then insulin shots.  When I was pregnant with Tacy I was able to get a continuous glucose monitor to help watch the trends of my blood sugar that can go up and down so much with pregnancy hormones.  Now insurance will cover a CGM even when you aren't pregnant!  Other than the devices, I have had many people who have helped me a long the way.

When I was first diagnosed, it was a Friday, I was 92 pounds on a good day (I was ridiculously skinny at 16), and constantly eating and drinking.  My mom and I knew something was wrong so we went to the doctors and after every imaginable test, they tested my blood sugar which was 592 (normal is more 80-120).  So we were sent to the hospital and I was put on an insulin drip and told I couldn't eat until my blood sugar came down.  That made for a long night, missing a sleep over and the PSATs in the morning.  Saturday morning my blood sugar was 190 so I was allowed to eat breakfast and I remember I shocked my father when he came to visit me and saw me eating eggs.  Hey, I was on a restricted carb diet so I ordered every protein I could that morning because I was starving.  It was at this time that the endocrinologist came to talk with me.  This sweet little Indian man who I remember calling him Dr. Keposh (he had a long name that was hard to pronounce), was very open with me and told me that I would have this disease for life, no surgery or procedure would take it away.  When telling me all the hard facts and what to expect about treatment he asked if I had questions.  My one question: Can I still eat food?  I love chocolate, fruit, bread...  I'm so glad he was my endocrinologist because he laughed and told me that I could eat whatever I wanted it would just cost more money for me because I would have to take insulin.  Even today not all doctors share this same belief, some want all diabetics on a strict diet.  But because of what Dr. Keposh told me, I have always eaten what I want, granted I have been a lot more picky about what carbs are insulin worthy.

My next blessing was my certified diabetic educator, Rosanne.  I was a moody 16 year-old who just had their life flipped upside down with a disease and she would listen to me, give me advice, and share her own insights from living with diabetes.  She was amazing because unlike the dietician and social worker she listened to me and helped me problem solve my complaints instead of just telling me that I was fine or normal.  

Now before I was diabetic I really had wanted to become a teacher, specifically an algebra teacher.  After my diagnosis I met so many nurses, some good some bad, that I decided I wanted to be like Rosanne and help other diabetics.  Because of my disease, I am now a registered nurse and work each week at helping people through their illnesses and diseases.  

Last but not least by any means, being diagnosed with diabetes helped me to grow nearer to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer.  I had always believed in Jesus and known that he had atoned for our sins, but until my diagnosis I had never understood that Jesus had suffered for every pain, trial, suffering, temptation, and sin.  He did all this so that He could "succor" us, be that one person to perfectly understand everything we have gone through and will go through in our lives.  While there are many people in the world with Type 1 diabetes, everyone experiences things differently.  As a 16-year-old it was so important to gain such a deeper understanding of the Atonement, to know that my Savior understood how hard diabetes is, how depressing, frustrating, scary, etc that it can be.  I found great solace through reading scriptures about the Atonement, hymns that discuss the great blessing of the Atonement, and of course prayer.  Without my faith I know I would have not been able to make it through this incredibly hard and emotional time.  Goodness, even now that I'm older and have years of experience I still have days I want to through up my hands and give up.  I am so grateful for my Savior, for His Infinite Atonement, and for my ever growing faith in Him.  I know that I have and we all have a loving Heavenly Father who wants to help us, which is why he offered His Son, Jesus Christ.  

When my first year anniversary was coming up, my Diabetic Educator and mother had the idea of making the anniversary a party, a fun celebration, like a diabetic birthday.  That first year I did have a Halloween party with my friends where we threw needles at pumpkins, laughed and ate yummy food.  The next year in college my friends all went to IHOP and we ate yummy breakfast food, so I guess that would be more a celebration of insulin which allows me to eat what I want and feel more like a regular person.  I can't say that I have kept up the party each year, life gets busy, but I always remember this day.  With something this life-altering you can never forget, just like I will never forget where I was when I heard that a plane had flown into the first tower on 9/11.  

I have no big plans for today either, but I do enjoy reflecting on what has happened since my diagnosis and focusing on the good that has come from it.  Now illness or disease is easy or something people would ever wish to have, but I do believe we can all look for the positive in every situation.  And most importantly, understand that there is someone who understands PERFECTLY what you are going through; Jesus Christ.