Motherhood

I love to talk about Tacy and how she is growing/developing.  However, I realize that when I mention motherhood, I sound more pessimistic and unhappy than happy.  I have always wanted to be a mom.  I've always known that.  I loved babysitting kids when I was younger.  They are fun to play with and have such fun imaginations.  I also am an older sister and got to watch my younger siblings a lot, granted, they were good at being annoying but I love them anyways.  I knew having my own child would be life changing.  I knew it wouldn't be easy.  But I also knew that every mom talks about how worth it it is.

Well I just want to say that I would not change being Tacy's mom for anything.  I love this little girl so much.  Being her mom is definitely not easy every minute, it has it's ups and downs, good times and bad times, etc.  But it is all worth it.  While Tacy can be my little drama queen and throw temper tantrums, hit, pull hair etc, she also gives great hugs, has an adorable smile, and loves to kiss you on the lips.  

I have had computer training the past two days and have gotten down early and been able to spend more of the day with Tacy.  Now, if you remember my post about being a stay-at-home mom and having a hard time spending lots of time with Tacy, you'd think that would mean the past two days have been horrible.  But they were great.  Yes, Tacy has thrown tantrums, she has refused to go anywhere without her diaper bag, she was upset when I would not let her keep wearing her Princess Aurora dress...but we have laughed a lot, hugged a lot, and tickled.  She tried tickling my feet last night during our family prayer (we are working on getting her to sit still with her arms folded for the whole prayer).  I love this girl.  She is so sweet and special.  

Lately when I go to pick up Tacy after work she runs to me and gives me a big hug!  I love it!  Maybe we both just work better when we don't spend the whole day together every day.  I have talked with other moms who have made the switch from working to being stay-at-home moms and they have told me that it is/was a hard transition (that helped my wounded mom ego).  Sorry, that was random.  But anyways, I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.  Life isn't easy for sure.  Every day I have to give up things I want to do to help Tacy.  But when I see how happy she is when I play with her, when we sing and dance to "Shake It Off" or sing Happy birthday (in Tacy language the song goes "happy day to to"), it is all worth it.  

The hard things are what make life meaningful right?  If we don't work for something we don't appreciate it as much.  Well, every day is a work for me to be a better mom to Tacy and I see how much it helps me, Tacy, and our family when I put in the work.  I love Tacy.  If our situation were to change and I could stay at home or needed to, well I would (I might still work part time because I want to keep my RN license active).  I love Tacy.  I do want her to know her mom and to be raised by her parents.  The work I do in the home is the most important.  Hopefully my work will eventually help Tacy to loose some divaness...haha

On a side note, Tacy's tantrum about me not letting her wear her Princess Aurora dress is my own fault.  We bought it a while ago and have had it in her closet.  Tacy forgot about it.  But I have been dying to see how it fits her, so yesterday I put it on her.  It was adorable and Tacy loved it.  She did ask me to take it off, so I did (Tacy loves dressing and undressing).  When she wanted to put it back on and I would not let her is when she threw the tantrum.  Even this morning she kept trying to get to the dress in her closet.  Patience is something I struggle with so it shouldn't surprise me that my child struggles with it too.