My month as a full-time Mom

I have been unemployed for a month.  This month has been crazy and hard.  I love Tacy and spending all this time with her has been great.  But at the same time, I feel like I'm doing nothing productive and am bored.  I have a whole new respect for stay-at-home moms.  This month has made me wonder if I am not that great of a mom because I want to work.  Tacy can drive me crazy, make me laugh, and wear me out.  I struggle to come up with things to do at home because she doesn't always want to learn (not that I'm a great teacher), I'm tired, she's bored, and Tacy just wants to run around and watch Curious George.  She still counts "1, 2, 5, 6".  She still says "blue" when we ask her what color something is.  But she now knows the difference between a spoon and a fork.  Ha ha  

Maybe my problem is that Tacy's whole life I have been going to school and working.  Other than a 2 week break my first year of nursing school where I sleep trained Tacy, I have always been doing something else while being a mom.  So now just being a mom feels slow and very tiring.  Being a mom is definitely a full time job whether you are working a job or not.  And Tacy wore me out the days I wasn't at school or work before.  But now to be with her everyday, boy, she runs me ragged.  It probably doesn't help we are in a new area and still trying to figure out places to go and things to do.  And every other day we don't have the mazda (which has AC).  

I'm not complaining I promise.  It's just a realization I've had that makes me feel like less of a mom.  Maybe all moms feel worn out and wish they could do something else sometimes.  I have only been away from Tacy for a few interviews.  Props to all my friends who do this full time, every day.  

chowing down on corn at the Farmers Market

Other than being worn out, I have been loving cooking/baking again.  Having my own kitchen again is fantastic.  Now I feel I can really try out all the recipes I find on pinterest.  It's exciting.  I actually made these lemon cream cheese bars that are fantastic (if you love lemon).  That was the first time I have ever zested a lemon.  You can go here for the recipe : http://thegirlinspired.com/2014/06/lemon-cream-cheese-cookie-bars/.

Tacy sure does love all my baking too.  We have been to a few fun parks in the area.  We had friends take us to a park in Raleigh that had a train, carousel, and kiddies boats as well as a lake and playgrounds.  Tacy loved it!  She had so much fun riding the choo-choo train and steering her little boat.  Her little friend got scared by both of them.  I thought Tacy would too so I was impressed that she loved them so much.

Tacy also had a run-in with biting ants at the playground in our apartment complex.  The poor kid walked over a small ant hill and they bit her feet all up.  She has 20+ bites on her feet, calf, and one hand.  Thank goodness for benadryl and Beauty and The Beast.

I have had two unofficial job offerings.  One is unofficial because HR has to call me with the amount they will pay and apparently HR is really slow at this).  The other is unofficial because they were waiting to here back from my references because I can be officially hired.  Both are with clinics, so working Monday-friday.  One does work mornings on weekends.  The same one also would have me working at two different locations.  Hopefully I will hear from HR soon so I can make the best decision.  Money would be great.

Brad has his first crazy test week this week with a test Wednesday and Friday.  He has been great at studying every night after Tacy goes to bed (even on weekends).  My friends at Weber are all starting the BSN program today and I'm sad I'm not with them, but I know that it's better that Brad is doing his PA program.  

she always puts her babies on a chair to watch shows with her

Life keeps moving, I keep swimming.  Meanwhile, Tacy and I have grown much closer over this past month and that has been very nice.  I understand her more and I really like that.  So while she has worn me out and there are days I swear we are not having more children, I'm very glad we have her!  Who else would crack me up while she cleans all her animals, runs around with no clothes on, and comes up to me saying "tickle tickle" while laughing her head off.  

she didn't want her picture taken

Cross Country Journey

For being only 2, Tacy has sure been in a lot of states!  Previous to our move she has been in Nevada, California, Idaho, Montana and of course Utah.  Now she has been in another 8 from our move!  13 is pretty good for 2.  For our move we drove through a total of 9 different states.  I figure I better write all this down before I get too busy and forget.

Thursday, July 24th was my very last day at work.  It was surreal and sad.  I worked with so many great people and really loved my job (overall).  One of my managers bought cupcakes from the Sweet Tooth Fairy and boy, I had this amazing blue raspberry one!  Even though not every day was great at work, some days were filled with crazyness, mean patients, rude family, lots of problems...it was a great place.  Not to mention, having so many great co-workers who I became good friends with and really enjoyed working with makes it so much harder to leave.  I did try to convince all of them to move with me.

Friday, Brad and I went to pick up the moving truck in the morning.  Driving in our Mazda, within a few minutes of leaving the house an alarm went off in the car with a warning light stating we had low tire pressure in at least one of the tires.  Great.  Brad pulled over and found a nail in one of our tires.  He filled up the tire with air and decided we were close enough to the place we were picking up the truck to just finish driving there.  Once we arrived, Brad changed out the tire on the Mazda.  As un-fun as this was to happen the day before our move, I was grateful it was the day before and not while moving.  Plus, I now know how to change a tire on our Mazda!  After putting the spare on, Brad then went and got the moving truck.  After we both got back home, Brad then took the Mazda into the dealer and got the holy tire fixed (it actually had two nails in it).  Thankfully that did not take very long.  While Brad was gone, I worked on packing the last minute stuff.  When he came back, I went to work to pick up a paycheck and say by to more co-workers.

After this, Brad and his Dad loaded everything into the moving truck.  I cleaned our place while Brad's mom watched Tacy.  With all of our things packed into the truck, we still had a little room so we took some things with us we hadn't planned on because we thought there would be no room (Brad's grandpa's easy chair and a shoe rack).  Brad's Grandma and Grandpa Taylor came over to give Tacy a birthday gift, give us snacks for our drive, and say goodbye.  That was one of the saddest goodbyes since we cannot be sure that we will see them again.  That night we slept upstairs in Brad's parents house and we got up nice and early to start the drive.  Brad wanted to leave by 5, we left about 5:30.  I actually woke up first, before Brad's alarm and was all ready by the time Brad woke up.  Yup, I was a little anxious.

Our bed on the floor after Brad took apart the frame

The Mazda was the girl car with Tacy, Christine (Brad's sister), and me.  We had our suitcases with clothes for the trip, the portable dvd player and movies for Tacy, food, and toys.  The truck was the boy car with Brad and his dad.  We had walkie talkies so we could talk back and forth.  Day one was the most boring day.  The west sure is dry, yellow, and flat once you get past the Rockies.  We took the lowest pass so we did not have to push the moving truck too hard.  Following behind the truck was not easy because the fastest we ever went was 70 (but usually we topped at 55) and we went as slow as 20 sometimes.  Day one took us from Utah, through Wyoming and into North Platte Nebraska.  A very boring drive.  The most exciting it got was the bird that the truck killed.  We did eat dinner at this little diner in North Platte that had good food for great prices.

Day 2 took us through the rest of Nebraska, down through a corner of Iowa, and down and over to St. Louis Missouri.  I gotta say, I never new corn was such a big product!  We saw lots of corn in Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, and Missouri (with some still in Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, and North Carolina).  I wanted to take a picture in a corn field, because that was mostly all we saw those first two days.  After so much yellow, it was nice to enter Missouri and finally see green and trees!  St. Louis was beautiful with the old bridges, the St. Louis arch, and the muddy Mississippi river.  Brad loved showing us some of the places downtown from when he had served his mission.  We waved at Busch Stadium.  Tacy learned to say Budweiser (it was only ever said once and hasn't since been repeated).  We stayed at a nice Courtyard Marriott thanks to my uncle Val.

Day 3 we spent the morning at the St. Louis zoo, which is completely free!  We then went to Ted Drewes for frozen custard (and they had the perfect combo for me: reese's and banana!).  After a quick stop at White Castle for the men (way too gross for Christine and I), we dropped Brad's dad off at the St. Louis airport.  Tacy sure misses Papa.  Then we drove south to Jackson, MO where some friends of Brad's from his mission offered us a house to stay in and fed us dinner.  We met a couple different familys that evening.  And boy, the pork steak we ate was the best pork I have ever had in my life!

Day 4 we stayed in Jackson area.  We went to Steak n Shake for lunch, drove around Brad's old area down there, took long naps, and then went to Lambert's for dinner.  Brad has been talking about this place the whole time I have known him.  He was not kidding about the giant portion sizes, the great "extras" they bring around all the time for free and the throwed rolls.  The rolls were both exciting and terrifying because I seriously thought I was going to get hit by a roll.  But those rolls were delicious.  The potatoes and onions were great, the ocra was yummy, and my meatloaf was a loaf!  Tacy loved when they threw the rolls and she loved all the food she ate.  We had so much fun with Clifton and Laura and their kids!  They are such an awesome family!

Day 5 we drove out of Missouri and through some small, zombie looking empty towns of Illinois and Kentucky, then we drove through Tennessee and into Asheville North Carolina.  It got greener and greener the farther east we went and the trees got thicker.  We also enjoyed the Smoky Mountains.  Thank goodness Brad now will say that the Applachains are a mountain range, they are just short (before he always called them hills).  

Day 6 was the conclusion of this long road trip with driving through North Carolina, past Kernersville (where I lived for 7 years and Brad promised we will go visit) and into Cary.  We had one ward member come help us move our stuff in from the truck (thank goodness he came and luckily between Christine, Brad, and Ben that was all the help we needed).  We were blessed to have a sunny day and that it was only in the 70's because we were already sweating pretty good from the humidity.  We seriously had great weather for our whole drive!  Day 6 was Thursday, July 31st.  

Friday, August 1st, we worked on setting up more stuff and arranging furniture.  Then I had an interview in Raleigh.  Then we all drove to UNC Chapel Hill's bookstore and then we went to the Originial Q Shack in Durham.  After eating yummy North Carolina BBQ we drove to RDU and dropped Christine off.  I'm so grateful Christine could go all the way with us and help so much with Tacy.  Tacy sure loves her Aunt Christine.  It started raining pretty good when we drove to UNC and it rained Friday and Saturday.  We are very grateful we moved in Thursday before the rain hit.  We have since gotten even more rain to the point there was flooding Tuesday night.  Brad keeps saying that if Utah and California got all this rain we have gotten since moving here, they would no longer be talking about a drought and empty reservoirs.  

This definitely wasn't the easiest trip/car ride for Tacy.  She had her fussy times.  But she was a trooper.  She got to swim a lot and spend time with family.  Thank goodness for family, technology and pools!  We are happy to finally be here and so grateful that we had a safe journey out here!

We Made It!

Not enough time right now to even begin to talk about the crazy 6 day trip out here to Cary, NC but boy oh boy am I glad it's over and we made it!  While unpacking is not my favorite thing in the world, Brad and I were both pretty excited to unpack our kitchen after 3 years of not using it!  Can I just say that I love our utensils?!  Not to mention many other great kitchen supplies that I have missed.  After living with Brad's parents (which was a great blessing) and now being on our own again, we have found many things that we forgot we got rid of: ie our dish drying rack.  We have already made a few trips to Bed Bath and Beyond.  Now we keep adding to the list of things we have to buy (again).  The things I forgot to check and see if they were stored somewhere.  Oh well.  

Tacy smiling for a selfie with her dolls

Luckily we are very close to shopping complexes and malls.  Finding good grocery stores has been a trick (and by good I mean affordable and decent produce).  Luckily we found a Kroger today.  We still need to check out the good ol Food Lion (that's what my family used when we lived here 15+ years ago).  Harris Teeter is everywhere and they cost a pretty penny.  And gosh, paying almost $4 for a gallon of milk is killing me, so thank goodness Sam's had a gallon for $3.  

Some of the rooms during the unpacking process

We did get yummy peaches at the State Farmer's Market today.  I'm excited to eat those (which is saying something because I used to only eat can peaches - the fuzz bugs me a little).  

We hung up things today in the apartment.  If it were all up to me, I probably wouldn't get to hanging things for at least a few weeks until I had plenty of time of mull over exactly where each picture should go.  Brad on the other hand told me I had 10 minutes before he just started hanging everything.  

We still need to buy a kitchen table and chairs and a computer desk.  In the mean time we are using a card table for the kitchen table with camping chairs.  The computer is sitting on boxes, so sitting at it for a long time is really uncomfortable all cramped on the floor (like when you are studying for the NC driver's handbook).  Oh well, such is life right now. 

selfie to taunt my sister about being at the UNC bookstore

I've applied to what feels like a billion jobs.  I've interviewed with one and was told today that I will get a call back in a few days when the doctor is back from vacation to hopefully meet and interview with him.  We will see. Until then I cannot have a milkshake from Cook Out (which is like 10 steps away from us and everyone says their milkshakes are fantastic and super cheap) until I get a job.  We did submit all the forms for student loans today.  As great as that is, a job would be nice to help pay our other bills...Gotta love the grown up life.

pictures a few days into the unpacking

Tacy is adjusting to all of this.  She has been a bit of a terror since moving, but she is napping again and that has helped.  While hanging pictures she kept getting in the way and actually scratched the wall while trying to mimic me (which was cute to a degree).  So Brad told her to sit on the couch and not move.  She did a pretty good job of it and followed us around the apartment as directed until we were done.  Apparently she listens well when she knows Dad means business.  

tantrum because Mom was taking her picture instead of letting her look at pictures

Tacy Lou I love you!

So Tacy keeps growing and I love her personality so much (well I could do without the drama and temper tantrums).  At her doctor appointment she was 34 inches tall (65%) and 26 lbs 4 oz (51%).  I can't believe how big she is getting!

Lately:

Tacy loves to dress herself and she believes everything goes on up your legs (for her outfit yesterday this actually worked because the shirt was stretchy enough to get over her bum).  She is getting better and better at putting on her pants/shorts and just needs helping getting them up over her bum.  Doing laundry today, she decided to put on the clothes and soon had mermaid legs (from both legs in same pant leg) with one of Brad's socks on her feet.  Too cute.

Tacy's imagination has kicked off!  She loves to sit and play with her stuffed animals, toys, etc.  I will be on the computer job hunting (or whatever) and hear her talking away with different intonations and everything.  I turn around to see her playing with her toys, showing her baby dolls how to color, combing hair, brushing teeth, etc.  She also loves to sing.  If she isn't talking to her toys, she is sitting 'reading' a book by singing while flipping pages.  Singing is her favorite part of church in fact.  She gets pretty excited when the organ starts playing, grabs a hymnal, and opens to a page to sing.  This week she did stop and actually just listen to the soloist who sang with a string quartet.  Those are usually songs she happily joins.  

Tacy has begun to say "Thank you" when she is giving you something.  For instance, just a few minutes ago she said "thank you" and handed me a cup.  It cracks me up that she is saying thank you for me while in the process of giving me what I should be saying thank you for.  

Tacy loves to make sound effects, whether she is playing with toys, running around, whatever I will hear her talk and then some sound effect (like the rushing of wind).  She also loves to say "honk" when I lock the car. 

Did I mention she loves water? she kept pouring if on her face in her bath

"Happy" is Tacy's jam.  Seriously.  She will come up to me and say "happy" (sometimes while frowning) so that I either start to sing the song or turn it on.  Since the new Voice commercials play Happy as the song, Tacy will stop whatever she's doing and start dancing when she hears it come on.  Pretty funny.  She also requests to listen to "Roar".  

Tacy has been on a pretty good Curious George kick.  Thank goodness for Amazon Prime and all the shows on Amazon Instant Video.  I'm able to shower and get stuff done with Curious George on.  

Tacy is a puzzle master (at least when playing with her big foam puzzle pieces).  She has perfected pushing them together and making long roads of puzzle pieces.  she can also make train tracks (put the tracks together at least).  Little stuff, but it always impresses me.  Tacy can count up to 7, she still tends to skip 3, but if you count with her and she skips 3 she will say four right after you say 3.  Funny.  I think I have heard her say 3 2 times total.  

Tacy loves to drink the milk in her cereal (not something she learned from me).  Even before she finishes her cereal she will tip the bowl up to her mouth and drink all the milk, then hand me the bowl and ask for more.  

Tacy loves to brush her hair and her teeth.  If she sees her tooth brush in the morning while I am getting ready, she says "brush teeth?".  I then have to give it to her and we sing the tooth brushing son (that yes I made up cause I can't remember what my mom sang to me) and she dances.  

Speaking of her dancing, I still have no idea where she learns her moves.  They are pretty funny.  I'm sure some came from watching Grant dance, but others...I have no idea.  

Tacy loves garden veggies (as in veggies from the garden - not so much from the grocery store).  She ate probably half of all the peas, loves the onions, and too bad we are moving before the tomatoes are really in cause she wont touch tomatoes unless she picks them herself.  Oh well.  She does love salsa and that doesn't have to come from the homemade salsa thank goodness.

Tacy also really loves the chewy granola bars.  I've always bought them for snacks for school/work.  Well Tacy started finding them in my purse and wanting some.  Now she walks over to the corner we have the box of bars hidden and asks "bar?"  She's an addict.  Oh well.  It's granola and low on calories :)  

One week to go...where'd the time go?

Seriously, we are moving in a week.  Brad likes to think about what state we will be in in ___ days. We have packed a lot.  We have taken a lot to DI.  We have a lot of empty walls and shelves.  But I still feel like there is a lot to do.  All the little things need to be packed (toys, bathroom drawers, night stand drawers, clothes for the drive, toys for the drive...).  Ugh when I think about keeping Tacy happy during the drive, I get anxious.  

We had an early birthday party for Tacy on Wednesday with all of Brad's family (minus Kimber and Sam because they were in the hospital with their new baby).  It was fun to have a last little party with everyone and Tacy got some cute clothes and fun toys.  She got two different fake toy tablets.  We didn't spend much time with them (i know one does spanish, and that the other had letters and piano keys) because I quickly hid them from Tacy.  They will be great entertainment for the drive (granted I might go crazy after hearing "n" for 2 hours...).  Tacy and our nephew Grant had a fun time playing in the pools out back and Brad's water contraption he made from his ladder ball game.  They love water so much.  They kept climbing into the pools and then slipping right onto their backs and laughing so hard.  They were pretty wet.

We also ate cookies and ice cream (two things Tacy loves).  No big party, just a little family time.  Tacy had fun and that's what was important. 

I've looked on pinterest for car activity ideas.  I just have no time to make anything.  So the new toys will be great.  Brad found our portable DVD player, now we just have to unpack movies (we only left finding nemo and little mermaid out).  Then Tacy can watch more than just Frozen and Robin Hood.  I might run to the Dollar store on Monday and just buy a few cheap little things that I can wrap and give to her each day of the drive as a new toy.  I dunno.  

We've been real fortunate that our jobs have provided us with lots of boxes.  Working at Skilled Nursing Facilities, they order boxes of supplies every week.  So we can always get boxes if we just ask.  

I'd say that we are living up our last few days in Utah with lots of activites and things we always wanted to do, but we are working and packing.  Granted, Tacy and I did go to Waffle Love for the first time Friday after our doctor appointments, and I have always wanted to go there.  Other than that, it's all the last of packing, working three days in a row, and I get to go to the dentist for some fillings the day before we move.  Crazyness.  

Looking back, I am sad to leave Utah because it really has been a good place to live.  We have been lucky to live close to so much family and these beautiful mountains.  I know that North Carolina will be a great experience and be good for us.  It will be hard (Tacy finally was happy to go to nursery and did not cry when I left her today), and I have to get out of my bubble to make new friends.  But it will all be worth it.

Lucky Girl

Getting my diploma in the mail for my Associates of Science in Nursing made me think about all the work that went into that degree.  The past two years have been crazy.  I have had a lot of people tell me that I'm crazy.  I just wanted to express my gratitude to the people that helped me get through nursing school.

Tacy was born 5 days before I started nursing school.  She was actually due the second week of nursing school, but after talking with my doctor about school and trying to have Tacy on a weekend or something, my doctor offered to induce me 3 weeks early if her lung functions were great.  Tacy was obviously very ready to come because her lung functions were 10x better than what they needed to be and she weighed 7lbs 15oz.  Thank you Dr. Harrison for helping me to have this little girl early, helping her to be healthy and helping me to have a great pregnancy and delivery with no problems.  Gosh I'm gonna miss my doctor when we move to NC.

The first few weeks, probably months of nursing school were hard.  I had school Monday-Friday from 8:30-3:00.  I had a new baby who I had to leave behind in the care of family.  I'm grateful my mom helped us out that first week of school.  I'm so grateful Brad's job was flexible with his work schedule so he could be with Tacy every morning and that Jody could watch Tacy every afternoon.  I'm really grateful for all the help Jody was watching Tacy during nursing school so that Brad could go to work and I could go to school.

I could not have gotten through these past two years without Brad.  Seriously, he was amazing.  I probably cried on a daily basis that first month.  I was so stressed with school, a baby, trying to study and trying to be a good mom.  I felt like a horrible mother and worried Tacy would have no idea who I was.  Brad was there to listen to me, calm me down, and take care of Tacy in a different room while I studied or did homework.  I quit my job the day I went to the hospital to have Tacy and didn't work again until I finished my first year of nursing school.  So for 9 months Brad was the sole provider for our family.  He worked hard, helped to manage our budget, and found alternate ways of making money to help us buy gifts (thank you surveys for amazon gift cards).  That first year was really hard, but we made it.  Brad is a great Dad and a terrific husband.

I'm so glad Tacy was a great baby.  She sleep trained at 4 months, she was happy almost all the time, and did not care what bottle she drank from.  Tacy is a great kid, and only throws her tantrums for Mom and Dad, so people who watch her love her.   I'm also really glad we have been able to be with my in-laws so we have had a lot of family close by to help with Tacy.  Plus, Tacy loves all of her family so much.

Finally, I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father.  I know He helped me so much to get through school, handle being a new mom, and helped us so much with finances and helping ends meet.  I know that without Him I would not have done so well in school or passed my boards.  

We have been truly blessed these past two years.  Life may not have been ideal, but we got by and are happy.  Now hopefully we can continue to be blessed and survive Brad's PA program.  One day Tacy won't have a parent going to school :)

East Coast Here We Come!

Brad started the application process for PA school again because after receiving a 'no' from every school but one (who put him on the wait list) we decided we should start up everything again for next year's programs.  So once again, Brad set up times to go shadow one of the PAs I used to work with.  Monday (June 16th) he went to do a day of shadowing, while Tacy and I hung out at home.  I had just worked three days in a row after coming back from a trip to California to see my family/be at my sister's baby shower.  So I was tired.  Around lunch time Brad calls me up.  What does he tell me?  He just got a phone call from Campbell University telling him that someone had dropped out and asking if he was still interested because they had an opening for him in their program!  Granted Brad was in shock when he was talking to me so he had no emotion in his voice at all.  For a second I thought he was just not excited about this.  But Brad said he was shaking so bad and trying to get over the shock of the phone call. 

So what does this mean for us?  Well it means that Brad starts a 27 month PA program in Buies Creek, NC on August 7th.  It means that we have 6ish weeks to plan and get already and moved to North Carolina.  It means that we are now hunting for housing across the country and I'm applying for multiple jobs a day.  It has been a crazy week!  We have at least gotten a moving truck booked (and for a great deal thanks to Brad's Dad).  We will be towing our Honda behind the moving truck and I will be driving the Mazda with Tacy.  So a fun drive for our family.  Some of Brad's family might be able to drive with us so we can have help (I'm mostly concerned about keeping Tacy entertained).  The nice part of the drive is that we will be going through St Louis (where Brad served his mission) so we can stop and see some of his old friends. 

Basically we are planning on splitting the 32 hour drive up into 4 days of driving (with 1.5 days in St. Louis area).  So right now we will leave the end of July and get to North Carolina that weekend.  We are going to try and drive the longest the first two days and then drive shorter amounts the last two days (when I'm sure Tacy will be done being in a car).  St. Louis will be a great break point so Tacy can run around at the St. Louis zoo, play, whatever with people Brad knows before we finish our trek.

Brad is flying out to NC in 2 weeks to go house/apartment hunting.  We have looked online and found some places we really like.  But I still want at least one of us to see them before we sign a contract.  It's cheaper for just one of us to go, and well I make more working right now than he does.  So he is going while Tacy and I stay here waiting for his calls and pictures.  It's all very crazy and overwhelming.  We feel very blessed to have the opportunity for Brad to get into PA school.  I will be putting off my BSN for a little (since you have to live in the state of Utah to be in Weber's program).  Hopefully I can get into a program out in NC or an online one so I can get that (as most places really prefer nurses with BSNs (sorry a bachelors of nursing). 

That is the current crazyness of our lives.  We are trying to spend time with Brad's family since we now only have a month left here.  I know that Tacy will miss all of her aunts, uncles, and cousin (plus the 2 on the way that we could possibly completely miss).  We are going to throw an early birthday party for Tacy since we are moving right before her birthday.  

We are excited for this new chapter of our lives.  I'm excited to go back to NC since I haven't been there for 15 years.  We joke that by the time Tacy is clearly speaking english she will have a southern accent.